So apart from making things for THE-A-TRE, I like writing essays and passive aggressive snark, most of which can be found on my bookface (sorry, dyslexic). It's not that I think I'm hot shit cause I don't, but I'm a little bit shit-y. Whatever. There's a lot to comment on, is all. For example, why is trail mix so expensive? How do you teach a lesson to someone you held a door for but who doesn't hold a door for the person behind them? Could I make a buttload of money by releasing an ultra right wing album of pro-gun, anti-immigrant, neutral ice cream flavour songs? You get the idea. Like those topics but interesting.

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So in case you're in need of a sarcastic, massively middle brow ghost writer who comes across heavily Midwestern, holla. I have written for:

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-insults during friends' breakups

-airline magazine margin notes

-rejected brand mottos

-frenemy icebreakers

-nerd smack talk (a.k.a. lightsaburns)

-personal gain

-and much, much end of list

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Again, this is not self promotion. I would never be so crass as to parade myself on a website dedicated to myself. It's called standards. But my peers keep telling me

"Yan, put down those 300 pound free weights and let the world know you're available." Those peers have a point.

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In conclusion, the end.

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(Yan's collection of essays One Fish, Two Fish, Chinese Fish, Lead Poisoning is in the works. Much like the sun burning out is in the works.)

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