Less is More

Male circumcision has many benefits, including lowering the

risk of penis cancer and urinary tract infections.

 

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's be frank: there

are many more crucial reasons for turning your turtleneck into

a v-neck; reasons that the medical community is only beginning

to admit. Anecdotal evidence and fringe historical scholarship

both point to the terrifying correlation between foreskins and alien abduction. In ancient Rome, uncircumcised men, or bobbitti, were often relegated to the role of skywatcher or nighttime cattle sentry. Coincidence? It's hard to imagine how. "Dr." Michael Mikedoctor of Carnegie Mellon agrees.

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"I don't believe in anything I haven't touched"

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Although his work in phallo-conspiracies have made him a pariah in the world of traditional medicine, Mikedoctor's steady stream of self-published, exhaustively-researched treatises command a place of pride in most national and some international airports. "It's taken a lot of perseverance and fearlessness to have gotten where I am today. Was it worth it?" [end of quote]